Coaching

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In other times and in other cultures there was no need for something called a “parent coach.” In healthier, more sustainable societies, the work of raising children was more centrally nested in the life of the community. Aunties and uncles, grandparents and godparents, mentors and friends readily were at hand to support, advise–and yes, even meddle–in the life of parents raising young children. However, in our society here in the U.S., parents are doing the work of raising children with an unprecedented degree of isolation. No one even tells us this when we are expecting that first child that we will need more support than our current society has in place, so when the need arises, it can be hard to identify for what it is.
 
How do you know it’s time to call a parent coach? I’ve worked with hundreds of families over the past decade and most families come to me when they reach a “crisis point”: when a child’s behavior becomes unworkable, or when a parent finds himself or herself saying and doing things they swore they’d never say and do.
For other parents, the indication that more support is needed comes on more gradually, with a vague feeling of disappointment, loss of meaning, or lack of satisfaction in how life is turning out. In our “self hep” culture, most parents don’t at first identify that what they are feeling is a sign that more support is needed. By the time parents come to me, they have often been “white knuckling” life with their kids for far longer than we would wish on anyone.
So, if you have found yourself acting in ways that you don’t feel great about, or if you feel like you are parenting above a sea of unpleasant emotions like anger, loneliness, self-doubt, or sadness, know this: you are not broken, you were just never meant to do this job so very, very alone.  It is time to call in more support.

Coaching with me can be an opportunity to:

  • Identify the key challenges in your family life today
  • Understand the underlying causes of the challenges you face, including the unmet emotional, social or spiritual needs of the members of your family–and your own.
  • Learn new tools, practices and concrete strategies to meet needs and bring more ease and joy to family life
  • Identify where your family life is aligning with your values and where it is not
  • Brainstorm the changes you want to make with an informed thought-partner who understands the complexities and stages of family life
  • Develop your own capacity in the areas of emotional, social, and spiritual intelligence.
  • Become a stronger and clearer leader of your family

Click here to make an appointment!The concrete issues that can be addressed in coaching include:

  • Sleep issues and bedtime routines
  • Attachment challenges
  • Back-talk, whining, lack of cooperation, and other “problem” behaviors
  • Tears, tantrums and meltdowns
  • Hitting, biting and aggression in children
  • Sibling rivalry
  • School and homework struggles
  • Morning routines and getting out the door
  • Power struggles
  • Friend dynamics, bullying, and
  • Talking about sex, gender, race and other loaded issues
  • Parent stress, yelling, frustration and self-care

Coaching with women in particular, might address the common issues that moms face at various stages of mothering:

  • Planning and preparation for a new baby
  • Processing your birth story
  • Dealing with losses and identity changes as a new mom
  • Isolation and loneliness
  • Going back to work
  • Body image
  • Intimacy with your partner
  • Transition to becoming a mom-of-two
  • Self-care when there is high demand on your attention
  • Transition to having kids in school
  • Finding yourself (again) as kids become more independent
  • Sex-talks, puberty, and dealing with your own triggers

Coaching with couples can address issues such as:

  • How do we get on the same page in our parenting styles? What if we can’t?
  • How do we come back together after stressful times?
  • How can we stop fighting in front of the kids?
  • Tools for leading a family together effectively
  • Staying connected and maintaining intimacy
  • Resentments and misunderstandings when one partner is the “primary” parent and one is the primary breadwinner
  • Dealing with gendered dynamics (in same-sex and hetero families)

Click here to make an appointment!We are a good fit if you:

  • Are politically progressive and want to live your values at home
  • Are a head-and-heart person (or can respect different kinds of “knowing”)
  • Want mutually respectful family relationships, even if you don’t know how
  • Are open to approaching parenting as a path for learning, growth, and healing
  • Want to learn tools, strategies, and practices to support your family life
  • Are open to seeing family life as a spiritual practice, even if you have no interest in religion and/or feel turned off by all things “new agey.”
  • Are Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Pagan, Spiritual-But-Not-Religious, an open-hearted agnostic or atheist
  • Are an artist, writer, change maker or political activist and want to bring your vision and creativity to life in your own family
  • Are gay, straight, transgendered, bi-sexual, or straight but queer
  • A single parent, monogamously coupled, polyamorously coupled, or in an alternatively structured family
  • An adopted parent or a biological parent
  • A parent of a child or children from pre-natal to 10 years of age

We may not be a good fit if you:

  • Are looking for a quick fix
  • Are invested in power-over models of adult-child relationships
  • Want to mold your children into who you need them to be
  • Want make parenting easy for you
  • Hate all things spiritual
  • Are a black and white thinker

Ready to make an appointment? Write me here!

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